In fact, swearing at the matchmaker used to be an important part of crying marriage, as well as the most rebellious part. In the old society, women were bound by the so-called "three obediences and four virtues", thus having no say in their marriage, which was all arranged by the matchmaker and the parents. Therefore, the brides often swore at the matchmaker before stepping inside the sedan, which was also seen as a pent-up of their dissatisfaction with and hatred of the old matrimonial system. This is also reflected in local operas and other folk art forms.
Once, there was a scene called "Yingtai Swearing at the Matchmaker" in aSichuan Operaon thebutterfly lovers. In the opera, Zhu Yingtai severely scolded the matchmaker with sharp crying words, which fully show her strong character and her hatred of the feudal system. The scene has been removed, as the custom of swearing at the matchmaker no longer exists in many places, especially in cities.
In the countryside, where the matchmakers still play an important part in marriage, brides continue to swear at them in crying marriage. However, it is said that the matchmakers never fear being scolded, but not being scolded, which means they will never get rid of the bad luck (the Chinese character for matchmaker is a homonym of that for bad luck).
The Tujia Ethnic Group's Crying Marriage Custom
Crying marriage is a matrimonial custom that must be observed by every Tujia girl, no matter whether she is satisfied with the bridegroom or not. Some brides begin to cry as early as two months before the marriage, while others cry for at least ten days or half a month beforehand.
Crying marriage is a matrimonial custom that must be observed by every Tujia girl, no matter whether she is satisfied with the bridegroom or not. Some brides begin to cry as early as two months before the marriage, while others cry for at least ten days or half a month beforehand.
First the bride cries with her mother, then with her sister-in-law. After that, the neighbors and other single women come to cry with her, all of them sitting on the bed. While the bride and one of the accompaniers cry aloud, the others weep by the side. The bride cry for her parents and siblings as well as for the relatives and friends, mainly telling her life experience and her sorrow at leaving her loved ones while also expressing her gratitude towards her parents for bringing her up. The women also scold the matchmaker, and encourage the bride.
Although usually there are fixed crying songs, the bride may improvise sometimes. Tujia people attach significant importance to the custom of crying marriage. For a Tujia girl, whether she can cry and how she cries will usually cast great influence over her identity and reputation, and have been considered as symbols of the girl's wisdom and morals.
Some girls begin to learn crying at a young age, and some parents even go so far as inviting an elderly woman to teach their daughters how to cry. When they are fifteen or sixteen years old, the girls will practice crying with their young companions, and sometimes teach each other how to cry.
